Devota.Org

So, you’re not dead?
12/05/2007

A kinder, gentler Devota.

I am trying a new tactic: not to be so harsh. The topic came up for discussion a couple of weeks ago that I take a while to warm up to people. It’s true, I am guilty as charged. I was asked why I don’t date that much and I think it is a combination of factors. My work is not conducive to a relationship. Sometimes there are long hours, lots of overtime and canceled plans last minuet. I don’t meet a lot of people at work. I have become jaded and skeptical about people.

I can’t discuss a lot of the work I do with anyone outside my unit. There are criminal investigations being conducted, sensitive information I know that is not for the public to know yet. It makes it hard sometimes even with other co-workers and friends, let alone a date. I can imagine the phone conversation with a new boyfriend: Honey how was your day? “I had a tough day; we worked 14 hours on a case. I pissed xxx off. You should have seen the photos: It was a bloody mess but we are making progress. How was your day dear?”

Back to you're not dead. I had a lunch date with a man a few of months ago. It went well. I thought we had a nice conversation. He told me he would call the next time he was in town, he lives here part time. I haven’t heard from him. I have heard through an acquaintance of his adventures, knew he was in town a couple of times, but he never followed up with a phone call or an email. I heard he was back in town this week, inquiring about me.

I talked to the person I was discussing my dating situation with and asked for his advice should the man call. My prior reaction if he called would be to answer the phone with “so, you’re not dead?” We discussed at length what I should do, how I should handle myself. If I should go out on a second date after this laps in time. He suggested I not start the conversation that way but try a different tactic. I will try to be kinder and gentler; I might just let him ask me for a date before I ask him what he has been doing the last couple of months.


	back \| up \| next So, you’re not dead? 12/05/2007 A kinder, gentler Devota. I am trying a new tactic: not to be so harsh. The topic came up for discussion a couple of weeks ago that I take a while to warm up to people. It’s true, I am guilty as charged. I was asked why I don’t date that much and I think it is a combination of factors. My work is not conducive to a relationship. Sometimes there are long hours, lots of overtime and canceled plans last minuet. I don’t meet a lot of people at work. I have become jaded and skeptical about people. I can’t discuss a lot of the work I do with anyone outside my unit. There are criminal investigations being conducted, sensitive information I know that is not for the public to know yet. It makes it hard sometimes even with other co-workers and friends, let alone a date. I can imagine the phone conversation with a new boyfriend: Honey how was your day? “I had a tough day; we worked 14 hours on a case. I pissed xxx off. You should have seen the photos: It was a bloody mess but we are making progress. How was your day dear?” Back to you're not dead. I had a lunch date with a man a few of months ago. It went well. I thought we had a nice conversation. He told me he would call the next time he was in town, he lives here part time. I haven’t heard from him. I have heard through an acquaintance of his adventures, knew he was in town a couple of times, but he never followed up with a phone call or an email. I heard he was back in town this week, inquiring about me. I talked to the person I was discussing my dating situation with and asked for his advice should the man call. My prior reaction if he called would be to answer the phone with “so, you’re not dead?” We discussed at length what I should do, how I should handle myself. If I should go out on a second date after this laps in time. He suggested I not start the conversation that way but try a different tactic. I will try to be kinder and gentler; I might just let him ask me for a date before I ask him what he has been doing the last couple of months.