Changing lines.
12/06/2007
Like the sand lines from the tides at the beach.
The ebb and flow of my life is changing. I am going through some changes at work. I am going through changes in my personal life and the lines keep moving.
Loyalties, posturing and politics are changing daily at the office, I am sure there are more changes and movement to come. I am concerned about meetings I have heard about, things that will directly affect me. I am taking a new tactic there: be seen and not heard. It will be hard sometimes I would like to contribute to discussions, but since I am only the administrative support, my opinion is not valued by the new management. I was hoping that would change, I thought I would be included in the unit meetings and discussions, but I have been left out of them. Actions often speak louder then words.
My personal life has been in a stagnant state for quite a while. I don’t know if I should bend my rules, try different approaches and see what those changes will bring. I stopped short of a “you are not dead” type comment yesterday, I left an email unanswered. The actions I have taken in the past have caused me to be where I am now and I don’t have any regrets. I wonder sometimes if I made the right choices but I felt they were good choices then. Looking back, some might have been different now that I am older.
Time is the only way to tell me what changes I need to make. I have some decisions to make but do not feel confident I will be able to make clear choices right now. It might be time to look for a new position within the city. It might be time to give someone a second chance at dating.
