Devota.Org

Social skills.
12/08/2008

Texting, email, IM, cell phones.

Saba and I headed out for a romp in the park in the afternoon. We got to a place where he can be off leash. I tend to see the same people week after week. Saba and I have been heading there for 7 1/2 years. You would think there would be more socializing but often often there is barely chit chat.

It reminds me of a stop at a coffee house last week: I was waiting for a movie, got to the theater a bit early so I headed around the corner to grab a cup of espresso. I sat for half an hour, with my coffee and no one said a word to me. I thought coffee houses were big social places, but my information must be wrong. The dog park, the grocery store and the regular park: none of those seem to work for me. I often wonder through them with out more than a casual word spoken. I wonder if with all the technology, we have forgotten how to socialize.

I noticed with some of the tech seminars I have attended, Uber Geeks don’t socialize well. I assumed there was a lack of social skills due to their attention to computers. I often wondered if that affected their lives. I think we have a new generation that doesn’t know how to communicate without electronics. At the park, I saw some people on the cell phones, I saw people texting each other. I saw lots for communication, but not face to face.

Maybe it’s me, maybe not.

Replies: 5 Comments

I would be one of those people in the coffee shop or dog park that never say a word to you. It's not easy (for some of us) to start a conversation with a complete stranger. Instead, I would probably smile everytime I saw you and you would be wondering who the crazy girl is that only smiles at people.

Tina A said @ 12/08/2008 03:40 PM CST

LOL -- I see Bev began her comment with the very words that were almost ready to pop out of my fingers onto the keyboard: "I dunno"

I mean, many years ago (pre-Starbucks and pre-laptop computers) when I was a grad student there was a coffee house that I knew that was the kind of ratty second-hand furniture place serving coffee and organic teas and such, with evening poetry readings and folk music, etc. That was a place for socializing.

But now? Well, at least for me, a coffee house is a place to go for a cup of coffee. Conversation? Yeah, sure, if somebody is with me, it's a good place for a conversation. If I'm alone? Well then (assuming I'm not grabbing a coffee to go) it would be a place to read a book while I drink my coffee.

Having said that, I think my wife and I are both the kind of people who have no difficulty striking up a conversation with complete strangers wherever we might be. So I could easily say something to someone in a coffee shop... it's just that I wouldn't think of going somewhere like that for the purpose of having a conversation with a stranger. (Of course my wife and I have been together for almost 32 years and will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in June, which is what puts me in the demographic that goes to coffee shops for coffee rather than to meet people.)

Jim said @ 12/08/2008 11:58 AM CST

For me, shyness is definitely an issue. Approaching someone in a coffee shop and striking up a conversation out of the blue is not something I'd even think to do.

KarenD said @ 12/08/2008 11:29 AM CST

I smile at people. Usually, they smile back, and that sometimes will encourage me to say something humorous, which then sometimes leads to a conversation and sometimes just laughter. Either one seems to fill my need for socialization. BUT. You're so right about the cell phones. They do, I think, keep people from communicating with real people in the here and now. And it's a big loss.

Angela said @ 12/08/2008 07:27 AM CST

I dunno--I've had that problem all my life, even before electronics. But then, of course, I'm also too shy to make the first move--maybe everyone else is too.

Bev said @ 12/08/2008 06:49 AM CST


	back \| up \| next Social skills. 12/08/2008 Texting, email, IM, cell phones. Saba and I headed out for a romp in the park in the afternoon. We got to a place where he can be off leash. I tend to see the same people week after week. Saba and I have been heading there for 7 1/2 years. You would think there would be more socializing but often often there is barely chit chat. It reminds me of a stop at a coffee house last week: I was waiting for a movie, got to the theater a bit early so I headed around the corner to grab a cup of espresso. I sat for half an hour, with my coffee and no one said a word to me. I thought coffee houses were big social places, but my information must be wrong. The dog park, the grocery store and the regular park: none of those seem to work for me. I often wonder through them with out more than a casual word spoken. I wonder if with all the technology, we have forgotten how to socialize. I noticed with some of the tech seminars I have attended, Uber Geeks don’t socialize well. I assumed there was a lack of social skills due to their attention to computers. I often wondered if that affected their lives. I think we have a new generation that doesn’t know how to communicate without electronics. At the park, I saw some people on the cell phones, I saw people texting each other. I saw lots for communication, but not face to face. Maybe it’s me, maybe not. Replies: 5 Comments I would be one of those people in the coffee shop or dog park that never say a word to you. It's not easy (for some of us) to start a conversation with a complete stranger. Instead, I would probably smile everytime I saw you and you would be wondering who the crazy girl is that only smiles at people. Tina A said @ 12/08/2008 03:40 PM CST LOL -- I see Bev began her comment with the very words that were almost ready to pop out of my fingers onto the keyboard: "I dunno" I mean, many years ago (pre-Starbucks and pre-laptop computers) when I was a grad student there was a coffee house that I knew that was the kind of ratty second-hand furniture place serving coffee and organic teas and such, with evening poetry readings and folk music, etc. That was a place for socializing. But now? Well, at least for me, a coffee house is a place to go for a cup of coffee. Conversation? Yeah, sure, if somebody is with me, it's a good place for a conversation. If I'm alone? Well then (assuming I'm not grabbing a coffee to go) it would be a place to read a book while I drink my coffee. Having said that, I think my wife and I are both the kind of people who have no difficulty striking up a conversation with complete strangers wherever we might be. So I could easily say something to someone in a coffee shop... it's just that I wouldn't think of going somewhere like that for the purpose of having a conversation with a stranger. (Of course my wife and I have been together for almost 32 years and will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in June, which is what puts me in the demographic that goes to coffee shops for coffee rather than to meet people.) Jim said @ 12/08/2008 11:58 AM CST For me, shyness is definitely an issue. Approaching someone in a coffee shop and striking up a conversation out of the blue is not something I'd even think to do. KarenD said @ 12/08/2008 11:29 AM CST I smile at people. Usually, they smile back, and that sometimes will encourage me to say something humorous, which then sometimes leads to a conversation and sometimes just laughter. Either one seems to fill my need for socialization. BUT. You're so right about the cell phones. They do, I think, keep people from communicating with real people in the here and now. And it's a big loss. Angela said @ 12/08/2008 07:27 AM CST I dunno--I've had that problem all my life, even before electronics. But then, of course, I'm also too shy to make the first move--maybe everyone else is too. Bev said @ 12/08/2008 06:49 AM CST